Shades of Parenting

Written by on September 12, 2017

Parenting is often ascribed to the position of raising One’s biological children. However, in the real sense, parenting has to do with the process of training a child from infancy to adulthood. The point here is that, parenting serves a purpose of a caretaker of children, providing emotional, physical, financial and spiritual support to the growth of the children. The children being talked about could either be birthed or adopted. As long as a person or a set of people decide to be part of the growth of a child, they are serving the functions of parenting.
Recent research in psychology has divided parenting into four types. There is the authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved.
Authoritarian parenting is a process of parenting in which the parents are always right. They do not care about the feelings and emotions of the children. They resolve to punishment for every mistake made by these children and the mistakes are always because they do not follow the rigid rules laid down by the parents. These parents resolve to more spanking and instructions than conversations or discussions. And the children trained under this type of parenting often grow up to be hostile and rigid
Meanwhile, the authoritative parenting is a process of raising children in which the emotions and feelings of the children matter. Parents here tend to pay attention to the needs and attitudes of their children. They do not entirely believe in spanking but discussions. If spanking is going to be involved, then it’s always the last option. They are not too hard and not to soft either. They end up raising kids that are aware and careful of the feelings and needs of others.
On the other hand, we have the permissive parenting which is quite different because it gives the children the entire grace to do as they like. Of course, they have rules but these kind of parents are quick to bend the rules for the happiness of their children. They raise happy kids but undisciplined and sometimes low self-reliance kids
Uninvolved parenting deals with parents that do not care about their children. They have no expectations whatsoever of these children. They are emotionally unavailable and sometimes physically. They stand against every rule of parenting and these kind of parents raise kids that have behavioural problems among others, basically because they never had parents to communicate with.
Most people would not agree that there’s a difference between giving birth and parenting. It’s a different situation as the fact that you’ve given birth doesn’t entirely guarantee your success at parenting. There is no such thing as perfect parenting but there are parenting skills that guide parents on the right part of parenting.
Some of these skills are listed below:
1) Communicate effectively with the children: my darlyns this point cannot be over emphasized. If you don’t discuss with your children how can you tap into their deepest thought. Yes agreed some kids are not talkers but, my darlyns who said you cannot bring your kids out of that attitude. Give your kids room to express themselves, let them be able to discuss with you freely. Don’t be too rigid or laid back in your conversation with these kids. Communicate so well with your kids so as to give them room to “friend zone” you. My darlyns once your kids place you in that friend zone you will see that you will be the first person they will tell anything to. Please my darlyns you want the best from your kids open an effective channel of communication with your kids….
2) Show them love: my darlyns how else can I explain this hmm, “Actions speak louder than voice”: which means you love your kids prove it. You know most times parenting is one-sided which is automatically wrong. My darlyns be involved in the life of your kids don’t leave everything to the wife. Agreed you work hard to make the home comfortable, what do you stand to gain if you make all the money and produce children that are full of hatred and have a big problem showing love. My darlyn parents, hugs and kisses go a long way. Show affection towards your kids. Bring yourself to the level of your kids don’t make yourself unreachable. When you hug your kids let them be the one to let go, don’t be in a hurry to let go of the hug it means a whole lot to them. If haven’t started been affectionate towards your kids before its late. Learn to say I love you to your kids its 100% important. Let them get used to it. Teach your kids the importance of showing love, let them appreciate hugs and pecks,, the truth is if you don’t train them that way someone out there would tell them and they start misunderstanding the real context of the words.
3) Stay consistent with the kids so as not to confuse them: my darlyns don’t start what you can’t continue. Consistency in raising children is very important. Stick to your words and your actions in plays a role in parenting.
4) Utilize available resources on these kids: my darlyns teach your kids to make use of what they have available with them. When you have to spend on them please do just that. When you don’t have let them know mummy doesn’t have money now when I have I will surely make it up to you. A child can believe this statement only when overtime the parents have proved it.
5) Make sure to discipline as the place of discipline should never be taken away in parenting: my darlyns no matter how sweet and coolheaded you maybe. My dear if you don’t discipline your kids you are only destroying them. Deny them of privileges, grand them, spank them when necessary. Let there be agreement between both parents on the mode of discipline to give. My darlyn mothers when daddy is disciplining the kids please don’t interfere. Give daddy room to do his job which is to instill discipline in the kids. A disciplined and cultured child cannot be hidden in public.
Different parents choose different methods of raising kids. However, there are certain skills that shouldn’t be found wanting in any parent. Encourage your kids and always make them feel like they can always come back home to you.
The mistakes parents make is that they tend to forget that children come to life with their own temperaments and they would possibly not think the way the parents do. So it is important to support the child, lead the child to the right position of his desire and not enforce your desires on them.

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