The "Ex"

Written by on April 2, 2018

My darlyns, before anything is being said at all, it is important to know that there’s a reason why somebody is your ex. I mean, you call them, “ex” for a reason. So it then begins the question of why would you want to be friends with your ex?
I totally understand that there are times when “love goes wrong” that is, when you are better off as friends, than you were while dating, because you foresaw marriage won’t work since you’re not compatible. I understand that, my darlyns. However in a normal situation, in a right situation, before you ask someone to date you or before you agree to date someone, it must have been because you see a future with them and because you really really like them or perhaps love them. So maybe you asked the person or you finally agreed and they cheat on you or lied to you or did something that led to a break up, I don’t understand why you have to remain friends with them. Remember the proverb that says, “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me”. All this proverb means is that you should be smart enough to know when to walk away and when you decide to walk away, do so without looking back.
Staying as friends with your ex can rekindle old sparks and frankly, my darlyns, this kind of spark is totally toxic. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should “enemy zone” your ex, neither am I saying you should kill them or totally hate them. However, if the person is your ex and you’re friends with them again, it’s like going through the path that led to your initial failure… This doesn’t mean your ex is a failure, this just means your previous relationship failed and you don’t want to fail again.
Being friends with your ex becomes totally worse and unacceptable when you’re in a new relationship. How do you want your present partner to feel when you are friends with someone you have a kind of history with? It just cannot work. You give room for doubt and insecurities… Making them feel you’re not totally over your ex and making them feel your ex will understand you more and so they are not good enough for you.
My darlyns, when you see your ex on the way, wish them God’s bid and walk away with no hatred at all because that will only make you bitter. Move on with your life. Learn from the mistakes of the previous relationship and make amends.
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  1. Anonymous   On   April 4, 2018 at 8:21 am

    I find this difficult for my kind of person. I just hope I grow out of it early enough. God bless you and Khrisyarn for bringing you to his prog.
    Damilola from Surulere.

  2. toksdavid   On   April 4, 2018 at 12:10 pm

    Well basically i think that if you want to be friends with your ex, you need to know where to draw the line. Being in a relationship with someone also will definitely even help to draw that line with your ex because you’re trying to make your new relationship work. If you must be friends with your ex, you should learn to know when to draw the line.

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