Place of Thoughts in Marriages

Written by on July 9, 2018

My darlyns, thoughts are reflective and they can be subconsciously brought into existence. So in as much as people say thoughts do not matter, the reaction to certain thoughts should be avoided totally.  Focusing your thoughts on negativity will only bring more negatives and will make you miss the positives in your marriage. This is because once you start thinking it, you will believe it and, then you will act it; which would definitely and automatically  reflect in your life.

The biggest thought that should be avoided in marriages is the thought of DIVORCE; the ultimate. Couples tend to be faced with situations that allow the thoughts of divorce. However, the constant thought of divorce or anything negative for that matter is dangerous and quite unhealthy. This is because thinking of divorce would give you something like a shield or a backup plan which will actually hinder you from giving your all in your marriage since you know that when push comes to shove, you can always divorce your partner.

For instance, in a case where you get into an argument with your spouse and you are very aware that the argument is getting to the height of the situation and you know all you have to do is keep your ego in check, apologize and save your marriage but the fact that a voice at the back of your mind is screaming, “make your point and ignore all consequences, say the hurtful words and ignore the aftermath, after all, the worst thing that can happen is divorce” so you continue knowing that you might lose your marriage and because you have entertained the thought of losing your marriage to the point where it is no longer a big deal; definitely, problems begin to set in.

Avoiding the thought of divorce in marriage is because you have made up your mind that it is for better, for worse. So in a situation where you totally understand that there is no turning back, when your marriage begins to go south and you expect it on the west, you find ways to drag it back to the west. My point is; when you know that you want to stick to your spouse in your marriage, when the marriage starts getting boring or when it gets to a stage you do not like, you work towards redeeming your marriage. You see counselors and read books, you find ways to communicate and pray, you always think of ways to spice up your marriage, ways to make your marriage a better one simply because your marriage is important to you and you want the best from and for your marriage.

Nobody walks down the aisle to the altar with the intention of staying married for only two years. Actually, people walk to the altar with the hope of spending forever together but are quick to back out when they face the smallest challenge – couples give up easily. And while this popular notion that “what will be will be” goes around, it is important to understand that things don’t just happen by wishing on them; consistency and commitment work even in marriages.


Henceforth, it is important to make your thoughts the reflection of what you want in your marriage. Think about the good sides of your partner and how you can always draw the good side out, think about what you want in your marriage and ways to achieve them. Think about all the positives, believe in them and act on them.


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  1. OliviaNsofor   On   August 3, 2018 at 10:07 am

    This is lovely. In addition to this, we must also think of this before even dating or courting with our partner. No one wants to go into an uncertain relationship in the first place. Once marriage time comes, all will fall in place with conscious effort.

  2. D. Wallace Peach   On   August 4, 2018 at 5:48 pm

    Wise advice. Relationships take work and commitment, especially during the low periods. At times, there are good reasons for divorce and it’s the safest, healthiest choice, but frequently a marriage can be saved if both partners want to put in the effort. And of course, people should enter into marriage with a great deal of careful thought. 😀

  3. Anonymous   On   August 4, 2018 at 8:49 pm

    I can understand that we need to put in work for our marriage to work but how about when the work becomes fruitless? How about when you have seen the best councillor, read several books on marriage , tried to give everything you have got and even more? How about when your life is in the life? How about when it just ain’t working no matter what and how you try? Would you still be in the marriage or just leave (divorce) ? Remember no matter how much water you pour on a stone, it still doesn’t change the fact that its a stone.

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