I remember attending a wedding where an old woman called the couple and told them that as they go into marriage, they should make up their mind to forgive each other for almost everything, every offence even before it is committed. Frankly, only someone with experience would know and understand the depth of those words.
To make your heart an abyss filled with forgiveness means to turn your heart into an endless pit that has enough forgiveness in it to go round. It means that there is forgiveness for yourself in situations you think you have made mistakes and forgiveness for the people who have offended you. I mean, when you actually forgive, a weight or burden is lifted off your shoulders. So how can you claim to be happily married when you are mad at your spouse?
My darlyns, the people who use the proverb, “two wrongs cannot make a right” know what they are talking about and if an offence is compared to darkness, not forgiving is also darkness. Therefore, what brings the light in this situation is forgiveness – simply because darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can.
When you are wrong, just admit and apologize. And in a case where you are being wronged, there is really no point escalating the matter and sparking flames. And sincerely my darlyns, do not let anyone deceive you that forgiving others make you weak because truly, forgiveness is for the strong. And you cannot actually claim you love someone while you are holding anger, bitterness and grudges towards them because frankly, forgiveness keeps marriages together more than you can imagine. The union of two mature people with a heart filled with love and forgiveness is a powerful one. This is not just about people taking you for granted. This is about communication, speaking to your mature spouse about how their actions or words hurt you and you forgive.
So my darlyns, it is quite important that once you choose to forgive, you don’t take them on a constant guilt trip. That is, because they have offended you and you have chosen to be the bigger person by forgiving, that doesn’t mean you use it against them every time. The implication of this is that your partner becomes less comfortable with you and begins to withdraw. Please darlyns, once you have chosen to let it go, then let it go.