My darlyns, what makes a marriage or a relationship stronger is how both parties come together as one to fight the challenges of life and not individually. God has made your wife/husband your number one helper before anyone else, no matter the difficulty you face at work, school; from friends, discuss it with your spouse. Whatever issue your spouse discusses with you, always help through with it. The help could be financial, it could be care and attention, prayers or comfort; whatever it is just put in your best.
Balancing the wheel in marriage is when couples view their successes and problems as something that is for them both instead of personalising it. An unbalanced wheel in marriage is when a husband or wife carry on differently without inviting the significant other to assist on the other side, when there is pressure or celebration; thus the wheel becomes unbalanced.
Dave Willis said “There is no challenge strong enough to destroy your marriage as long as you both are willing to stop fighting against each other and start fighting for each other” Couples who fight as one have less stress and live more on the positive side of life. They are always very happy not that their problems are few but because they are being strengthened by each other by practically supporting and standing in for themselves, unlike couples who don’t fight as one. Let’s review these two families:
Chief Ola and his wife Mrs. Ola were both deeply in love, they carried each other along. One fateful” night, they got attacked by armed robbers who carried two of their cars and most of Mrs. Ola’s jewelries. The couple were strong together for the unfortunate that happened to them, when they were asked to make statements about what happened to them. Mrs Ola still in grief said “they took our cars and emptied our sitting room”. And also they collected our expensive jewelries that belonged to my wife, while we were sleeping chief Ola chipped in. he held his wife passionately while talking.
Barr. Steven and Mrs Steven were both deeply in love but they don’t operate effectively as a couple. They were both robbed on the same night as Chief Ola and his wife, the armed robbers collected one of their cars and broke into Mrs Steven kitchen and collected all her new kitchen equipment. The couple quarreled about the incident of the robbery from the moment the thieves left until morning when they were asked to make their statements; Mrs Steven said “they collected my kitchen equipment” and blamed her husband for not changing the kitchen lock. Mr Steven talked about how his wife left the car key on the television set and made it easier for the thieves to drive his car out. They both were shouting at the top of their voices, blaming each other and complaining bitterly for their personal property. They couldn’t resolve their issue; they were both in shock and pains.
Chief Ola and his wife were able to console themselves and stay strong despite they lost more valuables than the other family, because they stood together as a team and addressed their losses as we, our.
When couples make use of these pronouns, our, we, us; they unconsciously form the sense of “whatever that is yours is mine and whatever that is mine is yours”, “your problem is my problem”. Strictly avoid “me, I, you” in your relationships/marriages it makes couples operate on a distinct level.
For a wheel to be balanced in marriages or relationships, always discuss your failures and successes, ride through to the storms together without putting blames on your partner. Make yourselves happy while riding.
How do you address issues that come up in your relationship/marriage with your partner? What makes you both strong on stormy days? Do share your thoughts with me by leaving a comment. If you further enlightenment on how to balance the wheel in your marriage and prevent further issues, book a session today with Wittysally.