My darlyns forget the fact that your parents chose “aso-ebi” for you during your wedding. Ignore the fact that they influenced what hall you chose for your wedding and the number of guests that attended your wedding; once the whole wedding preparation where you consult your family is done; the marriage is totally yours – your own journey and a new chapter in your own book.
Recently, I told a girl who believes she is ready to get married that her parents would belong to the third party crew after she gets married and she was shocked. She couldn’t believe that her own mother who she loves and who raised her would soon become third party in her family affairs. It is quite difficult to believe or accept but it is the truth. As a wife, you don’t run to your mother for everything that happens in your marriage and it is not limited to just the wife; because even as a man and a husband, you don’t tell your parents and friends and siblings everything going on in your marriage. The thing is, the days of toasting when you always want to have gist for your friends about your boyfriend or girlfriend is totally over. You don’t run around telling your parents and friends how you breathe and when you breathe in your marriage. Your marriage does not constitute gist anymore.
Actually my darlyns, you don’t tell anybody at all the things going on in your marriage – it is suicide, it is like putting your marriage on tissue and throwing it in the ocean; you will not find your marriage anymore. Someone asked me when it is the right time to talk. Of course, nobody knows it all but when it is time to talk, when the confusion sets in, it is advisable to talk to someone who you are sure will provide solution; because, not everyone loves you and not everyone wants you to stay married. Better still, speak to a counselor or listen to therapists.
So, when marriage is concerned, my darlyns, you should go in prepared. It is you and your spouse, nobody else should know what is going on your house. It should be just about you and your spouse and that it is why it has always been advised that before marriage, there should be counseling. Before and during marriage, you should always read books and seek only professional advice when needed.