My darlyns, as unbelievable as this may seem, parents can actually be third parties in marriages. Third party basically means someone other than the principals who are involved in a transaction or situation. In a marriages, I’m sure there’s no disputing the facts that the principals are the husbands and the wives and perhaps, more often than not, the children. They are the reason there’s a marriage in the first place, they are the reason a wedding ceremony happened. Therefore, logically, other than the husband, wife and offspring, any other person should be regarded as third party.
This is not an article that will ask you to disrespect your parents or an article that will ask you to throw the loyalty meant for your parents away. Rather, this is meant to enlighten you on the kind of boundaries that should be created once marriage is involved. Of course, you’ll still call them and show them you love them, however the problem begins when you start getting everything twisted.
Imagine being married to someone who runs to tell their mother everything happening in the house? Now, to you, you might think there’s no problem but put yourself in a position where everything that happens in the family and with you is recapped to your mother-in-law or father-in-law by your spouse? Won’t you feel your privacy has been invaded simply because you trusted your spouse? My darlyns, believe me when I tell you situations that seem mundane like this creates issues for the family. So next time, when you want to call your parents to report the tinniest thing happening in your house, imagine you’re the one who is being discussed and that should stop you in your track.
Also, you have to realize your parents have lived their lives and that’s why they are parent. Yes, they are experienced and they know it all but imagine the technique they used to run their own family which they believe is perfect just doesn’t work for you? I mean, I’ve heard quite a number of children say they will never raise there children the way they were raised by their parents. I’ve hearf some say they’ll be closer, they will be more strict… Whichever one, the point is that what works for one person might not work for you and so you have to figure what works for you but you can’t do that with your parents or in-law constantly stuffing down their opinion down your throat.
Above all my darlyns, when all is said and done, you chose your spouse, you agreed to get married and your parents can never know your spouse like you do… So why should they run your home? And truth be told, parents always claim to know their children but they can only try because no one knows a person totally. Therefore, they don’t know you totally, they don’t feel what you feel. It’s your marriage and your life.