My darlyns, the biggest ruin that can happen to anyone is to fall in love with the hope that your partner has to complete you. Naturally, you should be whole by yourself and your partner should only compliment you and that is where self love comes in.
How do you love someone else when you don't even love yourself? Actually, how did people appreciate you when you do not appreciate yourself? It's the aura you dispel. If you carry yourself with so much worth, treat yourself like the king or queen that you are, carry your self with so much respect that people will call pride, then nobody will treat you anyhow.
When I say love yourself, I don't mean be totally narcissistic, what I mean is shower yourself with attention. To love yourself is to educate yourself and spend so much time on your career because you expect so much from yourself. My darlyns, self love is not just about taking yourself to the mall or about going to the cinemas; self love is more than that. It involves accepting yourself - the flaws inclusive, it involves working on yourself, knowing your worth and where you stand.
Self love takes away envy and jealousy, it takes away malice and insecurities and frankly, my darlyns, if all these things are taken away from the relationship or marriage, it'll become a better one. To not accept yourself and get married is to get hypertensive anytime someone of the opposite sex calls your partner. To accept and love yourself is to know the value and worth you bring to the marriage thereby knowing anyone would want to have you and not want to lose you.
That is why I make it important to ask people that intend to get married how established they are before they dive into it. Don't be deceived, nobody can love you more than you love yourself and it's not a sin to love yourself. And generally, it becomes easier to love others when you love yourself already. My darlyns, the place of self love cannot be taken from any relationship or marriage. It should be prioritised.