At this stage, it becomes apparent that there’s a difference between donating sperm and eggs for the process of child birth and actual parenting of a child. Actual parenting involves more than just the school fees and breakfast and dinner but also making sure that you hold your children’s hands through their journey in life.
Recently, a friend of mine told me that he called his children; two boys to have a conversation with them about sex and they told him they know everything already. Of course, he was shocked, these boys are just 15 and 13, so how could they have known everything?
My darlyns, It is pathetic that at this stage, certain parents still treat discussions like this as if they are taboos, they fear that they might corrupt the innocence of their children but they forget that these children have free access to the internet and they socialize which inevitably lead them to learning new things. So if you’re a parent and you’re still waiting for your kids to become 22 before you have the talk with them, you might be a little too late.
Frankly, nobody is asking that you dump the discussion on them. Nobody is saying that you should threaten them because that wouldn’t work either, I’m just saying you should explain the whole process, not in one day and definitely not by trying to “code” the names of the private parts. You should help them understand the whole process and let what you want for them sink in. Actually, you should make sure they understand everything to the point where nothing anybody says will be new to them. So that when their friends say, “don’t mind your mom, sex is sweet” they’ll be able to say “she told me but she also told me I won’t enjoy it as much” also, when some other kids say, “it’s a lie, I’ve been doing it and I’m not pregnant, they’ll be able to say, “I know but what if I’m not lucky?” it’s the confidence you built in them. It is what you have trained them with and it is what they understand and believe.
My darlyns, having sex talk with your kids reflect the kind of parents you choose to be. Actually, your values are reflected in your kids and how you choose to raise them. The disadvantage of not having this talk is that your child might end up doing the total opposite of your intentions. They’ll fall prey of naivety and peer pressure. But when they’ve been trained to know what they want, they’ll pick what they want. And the fact that some people have survived without these talks doesn’t mean your kids will. Besides, it’s another method of bonding with your kids.
Sex talk with your kids is the ability to tell these kids that sex is not exactly a bad thing but once you make up your mind to have sex, make up your mind for whatever consequences follow. You could get pregnant, you could impregnate and that’s goodbye to your career. Tell them that although some people have sex and don’t get pregnant or impregnate doesn’t guarantee yours… Condoms offer 99% protection and not 100. Tell them of the various STDs and so if they must, it should be done with protection.
But you’re the parent and you know the kind of child you want to raise. These little things matter in a child.