My darlyns imagine a situation where you are having a really bad day and it feels like the universe is against you, pouring torrents of rain and turbulent waves and the one thing you can think about is, “I know by the time I get home to my spouse and family, everything will be fine”. Imagine that kind of situation… the relief and calm it brings to your mind. You see my darlyns, not every wife or husband can say that their homes can serve as shelter during storms for them.
Of course, there are husbands who during difficulties or some sort of discomfort would rather run to the beer parlor and drown their sorrows with every gulp of alcohol they take. And when they are done and wasted, they go back home or sometimes even decide to follow their friends for a night out or perhaps go to a hotel with a hooker – anything to make them feel numb. Now my darlyns, don’t get me wrong, I am not justifying cheating or immoral behavior here, I am just being realistic about how there are men who find their peace anywhere else but in their homes. Same goes for the women and wives who when they are hitting the thin line between depression and breakdown would rather confide in friends who end up gossiping about them. There are even wives who would spend their nights at parties too just to stay sane or worse, they will spend all their time at work just to avoid the big and empty house they call home.
The reason why these things happen is because the partners are withdrawing and are no longer comfortable with each other. They have gone from spouses to strangers and yet they live in the same house, living in shadow of who they are really meant to be. Actually, my darlyns, it is easy to make your home the storm itself the same way it is easy to make it a shelter from the shelter.
To be honest, making your home a storm shelter where even your children can come and be happy or fulfilled begins with a conscious effort to start off as friends. It might seem lame but if your spouse would rather confide in their best friends and colleagues when you are still breathing, then there is something seriously wrong with your marriage. So yes, my darlings never underestimate or overlook the power of friendship. Stay friends and make them comfortable with you. Avoid nagging and being judgmental then watch what happens.
My darlyns, to make your home a storm shelter, you have to make sure you are supportive and not the type that condemns. You also have to be a good listener and a comfort zone that your spouse will never get tired off. Imagine your spouse comes home because they want to talk, you know, just let it all out and it is at that moment or time you decide to complain about one issue, do you think they’ll ever come back when they need to talk? To make your home a shelter after a storm, you will have to be able to make sacrifices, put the needs and emotions of your partners into constant consideration. It is as simple as the fact that even when you have a lot going on, you should still be able to listen to your partner talk and even offer advices – it is not easy but it is selflessness and it is totally needed in marriages.