MY darlyns, whoever tells you that there won’t be conflict in your marriage is not telling you the truth because conflicts are quite inevitable and what makes the difference is how you react to the conflict. Now, I might be able to tell you how to handle conflicts and I know that sometimes when anger takes over, it is hard to remember some things. However, if you’ll make your marriage work, then you must know how to resolve conflicts in marriages.
The first question to ask yourself during a conflict is if whatever you’re arguing about Worth’s your marriage. Sincerely, you might think it can never get to that level but conflicts, no matter how small is like setting something ablaze and waiting to watch if the fire would consume the whole property or stop itself – it is obviously risky. So my darlyns, no conflict is too tiny to break your marriage.
After you realise that your marriage is worth more than the argument, you agree to disagree. Lee Bowers says, “no two people agree on everything and that’s Okay, but it’s important to be Okay with each other’s differences”. The aim is to resolve the conflict right? So yes, you have to humble yourself. Imagine if both the husband and wife decide to agree to disagree, both of us will just want to please each other and therefore, conflicts will not have anywhere to stay. But in a case where you feel you cannot just compromise, then start by not raising your voice while talking. Talk to your spouse and explain the reasons logically. While explaining, no blame game, no hurtful words, no shaming just humility and patience.
Also darlyns, please, once you agree to move on, there’s no need for bitterness or hatred. No holding back, no grudges and no passive aggression. Ask sincerely on how to make the marriage work by listening to their own point of view without interrupting – that’s respect. So that while you’re giving your narration, they will listen too. They will understand you are trying to make an attempt.
Finally, my darlyns, genuinely say you’re sorry and remind your spouse of how much you live him or her. There’s no need to go all barbaric on issues that can be resolved.